I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
