Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
