I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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