Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
