She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
