even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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