so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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