I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
