your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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