I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
