I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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