I hope mine doesn't look like that
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
