I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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