Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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