And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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