bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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