Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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