forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
as a side note pls kill me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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