OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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