You're completely useless in the revolution.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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