WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
