Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
