Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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