I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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