If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
