When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Pants are for mortals
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
