Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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