Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
