You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
