just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
