White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
