When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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