Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize