Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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