Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Life is so much better after having sex.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
