Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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