Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Oh god it's open bar.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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