I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
