i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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