Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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