therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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