took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize