me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize