i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
