Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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