just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
