if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
