I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
