wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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