I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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