is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
