You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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