When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
