I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
