Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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