she was so not down for the gang bang
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
