he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize