So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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