yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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