Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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