Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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