My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
