No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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