If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
